Positive reinforcement is the best way to motivate children to engage in good behaviour. Those who already use the General store
They know, because they almost no longer resort to punishments. That said, using less punishments does not mean giving no more consequences.
What is the difference between punishment and consequences?
Generally, the punishments (deprived a child of exit, spending time in his room, depriving him of video games, confiscating his bicycle, etc.) Are not related to inappropriate behaviour. It works a while, but (by experience!) you notice that, over time, children become impervious to them! In other words, comes a time when they don't care! Nor do the punishments allow the child to improve and send a funny message at the same time: "You did something that took me away so I would like you back!" The consequence is the logical sequence of inappropriate behaviour. You don't put your mittens, you'll be cold in your hands. You don't pay attention to your bike, it will end up breaking up and you will have to deprive you of it. I can use the punishments (like everyone else!), but these come when the logical consequences are no longer effective, or the inappropriate behaviour is very serious. Then there is a need for a big deal to make it clear that it is totally unacceptable.
What consequences apply?
Not always easy to apply a logical consequence in the fire of the action. Sometimes you have to think and when you're angry, it's not easy. I suggest you make a small list of behaviors that you would like to correct in your children and reflect on what logical consequence it might follow. Are you out of ideas? Here's what to inspire you!
10 ideas for logical consequences
- It disturbs at the table and does not follow the rules?
Ask him to eat alone at the lunch counter. Explain that your role as a parent is to ensure that the family meal time is smooth and enjoyable for everyone.
- He broke an object because he was taking inappropriate behaviour?
Make it pay for the broken object. He has no money in his pig? The next time he asks you to rent a movie, buy a new application on the tablet, make an exit or something else, refuse to say that unfortunately, the money available was used to replace the broken object.
- It has exceeded the time allowed to listen to TV or the computer despite your requests?
Remove this time from the next period of video games or TV by explaining that it is your role to ensure that it does not spend too much time in front of the screens.
- He did not do the requested tasks throughout the week?
Ask them to repeat them all over the weekend. Make it clear that tasks must be done at least once a week at any time.
- He voluntarily excludes a brother or sister from a game?
Ask him to play alone in his room. Explain that if you don't want to play with someone we can even pull out of the game.
- He's having fun screaming his little sister?
Require that he layer a little earlier, since his behavior assumes that he needs more sleep.
- He leaves all his toys in plan to start a new activity?
Require that he stop what he is doing and ask him to store before he can return to his business.
- It makes you lose time by whalebone during the homework period and lessons?
Ask them to help you make up for this lost time by helping you cook the meal or clean the bathroom.
- He was bad or rude to someone else?
Require a gesture of repair (letter of apology, drawing, etc.) Pssst is full in the Quiet Return Kit
The Belles Combines.
- They take time to fall asleep, play and jasent for a long time in spite of your warnings?
Put them in bed early, telling them that they will have time to play and shave before falling asleep without a lack of sleep.
Discipline, a question of balance
The benevolent parenthood is a question of balance for me. The consequences and punishments must be part of that balance. As Mitsiko Miller author of the book Discovering positive parenting, " positive parenting is about giving our children the opportunity to be masters on board in the face of all the challenges. It's to be able to give them tools to be resourceful, responsible and empathetic."
Disciplining our children is to give them the skills they need to be able to evolve in a world where the actions and actions are not without consequences and where self-respect and others are very important.