The benefits of the Family Council according to Danielle Jasmin author of the book The Council of Cooperation!

Mrs. JASMIN, IL Y A 20 YEARS, YOUR LIVE TITLE THE COORIACOY COUNCIL. A PEDAGOGICAL TOOL FOR THE ORGANISATION OF THE LIFE of CLASSE AND THE GESTION OF THE DELIMENTS ARE YOU WE REMEMBER WHAT IS THE COERCEANCE COUNCIL?

The Co-operation Council is the weekly (or biweekly) meeting of all children with their teacher to talk about life together in this mini-society that is the class.

  • Projects are proposed: e.g. What class name are we going to choose? How can we get to know our neighbourhood better? What activities for Halloween? Etc.

  • We decide the rules of class life: e.g. I raise my hand to ask for the floor, I wait my turn, I make a clear message to say how I feel, I make an apology or a repair if I hurt someone, I help the one who needs it, etc.

  • Together, we look for solutions to problems: e.g. Storage is too long, some children complain of harassment, there is too much noise during workshops, etc.

THE BELLES COMBINES HAVE ADAPTED YOUR WORK AFIN TO CREATE THE FAMILY ADVICE BOOK. WHAT ARE YOU THE BENEFIT Of THIS OUTIL?

  • First, parents show children that cooperation, honesty, benevolence, mutual aid, sharing, expression, among others, are privileged values. Children will live these values and be able to integrate them.

  • This makes family life much more enjoyable because it is managed in a democratic, more humanistic way, without authoritarianism or, on the contrary, laissez-faire. In the house, there are less shouting and quibbling, more politeness, less tired parents, more caring children, etc.

  • This frees the shoulders of parents from a certain weight because they share tasks and responsibilities. But most of all, they don't have to solve all the problems. This empowers children who move from "boring" to proposals for solutions.

Example: A child comes to complain to his father that his older brother always takes the controller of the television. Instead of intervening, the father can simply say, "I see you are very frustrated. I understand that it is really unpleasant. I invite you to write on the sheet of the next family council: "I want to talk about the TV controller." And we'll work together to find a solution. Until the family council helps you, try to find a solution. »

  • This develops tolerance because the child who immediately requests a response or intervention from one of the parents will have to defer the satisfaction of this need until the next family council. If there is an emergency, the parent can intervene and decide, but with a temporary specified decision, while waiting for the next council to decide.

  • This lets you know how the family is doing on a regular basis:                                 

    - What's going on?                                                                                                  

    - What's wrong, a little-alot? (Let's not be afraid of words)                    

    What family project can we do?

WHAT ARE YOU TO PARENTS THAT WOULD LIVE THE EXPERIENCE OF FAMILY TIP?

  1. Take the time to talk to your spouse and especially to read about it. Obviously you wouldn't improvise a trip to Walt Disney. Similarly, your first piece of advice must be prepared to achieve your goal of making family life more enjoyable, less breathless.

  2. (optional) Before setting up a family council, at a dinner party, take a quick look: in turn, everyone names something that goes well in the house and then, in the second round, we name something that goes less well. It's good to see both sides of family life. You can then tell the children that next Sunday, at 10am (for example), you will be having a meeting to find solutions to what is not going very well.

  3. During your first advice, inform your children that

    1. you want to make a short weekly meeting to talk about family life and make decisions together to make it more enjoyable for all,

    2. it's called "doing a family council."

    3. you do this because you believe that cooperation, discussion, respect, are better ways to make life in the house more enjoyable.

  4. Start with a pleasant topic: decide together on the next outing or day off, the next movie night, a weekend visit to the grandparents, the decoration of the house for a party, ... Then talk about a subject that would allow for a more harmonious family life such as the sharing of tasks.

  5. Insist on the principle that decisions are taken by consensus and not by majority vote. It would not make sense in a family of 4, 5 or 6. Accepting a consensus means that even if you don't really agree with the proposed solution, you agree to try it for a week or two because you want it to be better in the family.

  6. Accept a not very realistic (but acceptable) proposal from a child to give them confidence and to show your good will.

  7. Give yourself the right to be wrong because we now know that making mistakes is one of the best ways to continue to develop your intelligence! Admitting that you made a mistake is a great example for your children. I always say that if you want to be perfect, you have to move to the planet of the Perfects! For me, the search for perfection or wanting to give its 110% is not part of my values. Do your best, then, yes!

WHAT DIFFERENCE DO YOU KNOW AND CO-OPERATION?

We help each other when we put our talents or skills at the service of each other. For example, while I'm changing a power outlet, my spouse is preparing the meal. We help each other when we share tasks to do in the house. Making your room, tidying up your toys, serving the table, is not cooperative but very helpful for the family.

We work together when we work together to achieve a common goal. For example, your children want to build a cabin from the box of cardboard in the refrigerator and they all work together: it's cooperation.  If everyone helps prepare the picnic so that you have more time to play in the park before eating, it's also cooperation.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW TO THE PARENTS THAT DISENT TIME TO INSET THIS GENRE OF SYSTEM IN THE BUT?

Each week, how many hours of your life do you spend arbiter in a conflict, repeating the same instructions, doing tasks because they haven't been done, or settling squabbles?

At least 15 minutes a day?

Experience shows that the 30-minute period per week spent in family counselling will eventually give you more free time. You also want to promote the values you care about. You also want to train committed, caring and responsible citizens who offer solutions instead of whining.  But above all, setting up a family council will allow you to live in a household where there are fewer crises, more politeness and harmony. Conflicts will not stop because we are not robots. However, the way in which the squabbles are handled will be different, with children increasingly expressing their feelings instead of using hurtful words or judgments. It is a short-, medium- and long-term investment.

YOU ARE NOW IN THE RETRAITE BUT IF IT was TO REDO, DO YOU ADOPT the SAME VALEURS AND COOPERATIVE APPROCHES?

Absolutely. The values of cooperation, respect, accountability, mutual aid, among others, are an integral part of my daily life, I cannot live without them. I see the effect of active listening on people around me, from family members to friends, through the window washer, my great-niece's teacher or the party organizer, for example. I want to live in a world in which these values are shared by a growing number of people.

 

To get the family advice book, go Shop.

We thank Danielle Jasmin, a Quebec teacher who has dedicated her life to children. Ms. Jasmin is the author of the book The Co-operation Council (Ed. La Chenelière) for the classroom and in which she updated the principles of Freinet pedagogy. This book has largely inspired our publications.

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