Before we started our family, my wife and I were super social people. All weekends, without exception, sometimes Thursday night We receive friends for dinner. Breakfast, breakfast, picnic, 5-7 endless, all the reasons are good, you can party around the table, hold the cup, chat until morning. These moments make us full of happiness, deeply integrated into our life. "It's usually not yellow, but we're a little bit footIn this regard, we are happy to explore new revenue and "improve" some of the dishes we are particularly happy with. What's more, we didn't put pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect, decoration perfect, and so on. Of course, when we only have two people, we have a lot of intellectual space and time to accept, but still very fine - because we like it, it's very simple.
When our children come into our lives, we quickly realize how important dinner between friends on weekends is for us. Nurturing the fun of gathering around the table to share delicious food, having important conversations and laughing, is essential, and is our children's precious heritage. But how can we continue and share this tradition when we have a few children without pressure?
I think we're lucky We're not used to using "standards" and labels to put a lot of pressure on us. At the age of 37, I still don't know whether the knife is a left or right plate, although I have asked my stepmother almost every Sunday night for the past 15 years. The news is not in my mind Why? Because she is not important to me and my philosophy, because she receives friends and family on the table.
When we receive guests on weekends, we like to make them feel welcome and loved. In my mind and heart, it's not through a decorated table, a big magazine, a dust-free house, or a feast that requires hours of investment in the kitchen. What our friends are looking for, when we receive them, maybe what I am looking for, when I am happy to accept their invitation to go home with the children for dinner: a feeling that is part of our important community, sharing, communicating, laughing, eating.
Deep down, the people we invite are much more complex than we think, and we often put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect. Most of us are trying to break the tradition, the sense of loneliness and high-speed, which often appears with the intense rhythm of modern families. Why put so much pressure on everything to be perfect? Good for who? These social structures still haunt our hearts, cause us unnecessary pressure, and often make us unable to get together and share a good time. We think it's complicated. There are children. Prepare everything. Let's try it.
Recently, I read a book which shared five regrets of the dead. Among these regrets, one is not spending enough time with the people we love, one is not maintaining friendship, the other is not doing things to make them happy often. We know how we can have time to have dinner with friends while we work, our children and on weekends?
That's what I think Because at the end of my life, I know that when I invite my friends to dinner, I will not feel that my house is not clean or beautiful enough. I think I'll be very happy
In my opinion, the first step is to break people's false expectations. These are deep-rooted social programs that are not helpful to our lives.
People are much more complex than we think: they never expect a perfect combination. They want a warm welcome, a good time between friends, a normal rest and feeling connected. When we do too much, people feel almost uncomfortable and think they have to give us back to them! Now the worst cycle begins, and finally, no one invites again, because it becomes too complex, too expensive, and too stressful.
Usually, on weekends, we don't plan ahead, we like to be spontaneous. At noon on Saturday, we often decide to invite friends to have dinner in the same evening, or accept the invitation to have dinner.
When this happens in our home, we choose a simple menu that allows us to be with our guests in the preparation process. So we can play with friends In this way, we won't spend the whole day preparing everything. Recently, with the coming of spring, we like to make fish rolls. It's so simple and fresh. It's all on the table and everyone is free to use it.
We don't hesitate to ask our guests to bring dessert or recipes to contribute during the appetizer. This is what we have developed in our group: we are contributing, even if it is not our home. We also like the formula of "portleck", everyone brings a dish to share. This can reduce a lot of preparation pressure and reception related costs
There are many benefits to receiving people we love, in short. Breaking isolation, feeling connected, sharing, laughing, feeling part of a group are all good examples. I also like to think that it's also good for my children: they learn to be good guests, not perfect decorations, but to receive and care for those who come home. They also take part in the preparation work and do housework when necessary before shopping or friends arrive ("for this, there is a lot less ownership!") Just a few minutes to clean up They are witnesses and actors of a vibrant social life In fact, they have also strengthened their ties with friends. They use their social skills, and these events create opportunities to try new food.
But most of all, it's a pleasure for me to share food and connect. Both children and adults feel that they are a safe lover. That's the most important thing