The Cool-Down Kit, or how to help your kids simmer down!
07 November, 2021
Since starting kindergarten, my son has discovered a talent for making fart noises, and I have to say he's ridiculously good at it! So good, in fact, that the sound has become his main way of letting us know he's upset. It's pretty funny to watch when, all of five years and one month old, he furrows his brow and lets rip a loud fart noise through his little pursed lips. Pretty funny, yes, but after the umpteenth time, it ends up driving me up the wall, especially when it's followed by a thundering “you're mean” or a rare but very effective “big dummy.” Even though I know this behaviour is just a phase, it's still my job as a parent to step in and help him understand that this isn't the way to express his displeasure.
In the corner
To get the message across, I first used the universal method: the corner. First on the bottom step of the stairs (that was worse), then in his room (he got even angrier!). The meltdown would only get worse: he would throw things, slam doors and yell insults. What broke my heart was his crestfallen little face after the storm. He was so disappointed in himself, calling himself mean and seeing himself as a bad little boy!The new corner!
So I asked myself: where do I go and, more importantly, what do I do when I'M angry? The answer certainly wasn't: sit on the bottom step and stare at the wall! I want to retreat to a place I like, where I know I'll be able to calm down. I read a book, or I lie down, close my eyes and take a deep breath. Following that logic, I invited my son to set up his own cool-down corner. We put in a cushion, a pretty poster, some books, a puzzle, a stuffed animal he loves and... the Cool-Down Kit.
The Les Belles Combines Cool-Down Kit
This kit holds everything a child needs when they can't control their emotions anymore and have done something inappropriate! Inside, you'll find a sand timer to mark how long they need to spend in the cool-down corner, a booklet of 13 emotion pictograms to teach children to identify what they're feeling, an anger comfort toy to make the anger disappear in a fun, symbolic way, a little box of bandages, each illustrating a way to make amends after the meltdown, a stress-relief cube showing six ways to manage emotions appropriately, 20 “anger coupon” sheets to crumple up, and a handy, invaluable survival guide for parents. The idea behind the kit is to learn to identify emotions, vent them in a positive way and make amends for inappropriate actions. The corner is all well and good, but it's even better to come out of it a little wiser!How does it work?
We keep the kit in the spot that serves as the corner at all times. When children have a hard time handling the emotion they're feeling, we ask them to go calm down in the corner set aside for that purpose. They can then use the tools in the kit to help them get there. Once calm has returned, it's important to talk about what happened. Finally, the child draws or chooses a way to make amends, and it all ends on a high note! So, after calling me a “big stinky mommy,” heading to the corner to crumple up an anger coupon or two and doing a puzzle for a sand timer or two, my now-calm little guy can identify (with my help) the emotion he had trouble controlling that landed him in the corner. From the make-amends bandages, he chose “Draw a picture for __________,” and he gave me the drawing while apologizing for calling me names.Reinforcing those “good” cool-down moments
Now, whenever my son is upset or overexcited, I ask him to head to the cool-down corner. Sometimes he even goes on his own! When he makes an effort to calm down, instead of scolding him for being angry, I congratulate him for using strategies to cool his anger. Let's just say it's a lot more positive that way. I've seen a lot of progress, too! Keep in mind that this kit isn't only for helping angry children, but also children who are overexcited or who feel stress, jealousy and all sorts of other emotions to an excessive degree.
For the perfect complements to the Cool-Down Kit, find our tools for improving behaviour right here!
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