The General Store - The supermarket of positive reinforcement

06 November, 2017

What can we do to stop our little Louis from physically attacking his younger brother every time the latter refuses to follow his play instructions? Or to get Laurier to do his routine alone without us having to remind him every morning? What should we do, for goodness sake, if we no longer want to always repeat "what do we say?" to hear a "thank you" or a "please" from our children's mouths? How can we condition them to clear their plate at the end of the meal?

In fact, there are many ways to achieve this! We can give them all sorts of punishments that we then have to manage and deal with (we all know the joy of having to live with the consequences of depriving our child of TV on a rainy day...). We can also repeat and explain and repeat and explain again and again (if you are the resilient parent type, I admire you!). Or simply ignore bad behavior and tell ourselves it will pass (very hard on the nervous system). To each their own solution! At home, we decided to encourage good behavior with a lot of positive reinforcement! I must say that so far, it has yielded very good results and makes family life quite pleasant.

What is positive reinforcement?

Positive reinforcement for dummies: providing a pleasant stimulus to increase the frequency or occurrence of good behavior. This can be done in several ways:

  • Verbal positive reinforcement: Bravo my dear Laurier, you are a politeness champion, you said thank you without me having to ask!
  • Non-verbal positive reinforcement: a wink as soon as Louis brings his plate to the counter
  • Preventive positive reinforcement (a little more demanding but oh so effective): observing Louis out of the corner of my eye as he is about to hit his little brother, I intervene just in time to tell him "wow, you stopped yourself from hitting your brother, how fan-tas-tic!"
  • Material positive reinforcement: consists of rewarding our children's good behavior with small "gifts." This one is very effective, but should be used in moderation as we want children to learn to find an inner motivation to adopt good behaviors.

Les Belles Combines General Store

Les Belles Combines has set up a general store that rewards well-behaved children! It's a positive reinforcement system that makes parents' lives easier when it comes to reinforcing children's good deeds.

How does it work?

Each child always has a jar labeled with their name next to a reserve of wooden tokens. We target one or two behaviors we want to see appear, which must be measurable and observable. So we avoid "be patient" or "be kind." Then, we reward these behaviors with a token that we put in their jar. Once or twice a week, we let them count the accumulated tokens (using a token counting sheet for toddlers who can't perfectly count to twenty). Depending on the number of tokens collected, they can then exchange their tokens for rewards in the General Store. The store is simply a box divided into three sections: 5 tokens, 10 tokens, and 20 tokens. The important thing is to inform them every time we give them a token. We can even ask them to go and place a token in their jar themselves. Finally, when the behavior is well established, we stop rewarding them and give them new challenges.

The little educational extra

In addition to being a good way to reward well-behaved children, the General Store is an excellent educational tool. It helps, among other things, to develop cross-curricular competencies present in the Ministry of Education's curriculum such as:
  • Exercising critical judgment
  • Implementing creative thinking
  • Structuring one's identity
  • Cooperating

The General Store is also a good excuse to help children develop mathematical skills such as:

  • Solving a problem situation
  • Reasoning using mathematical concepts and processes
  • Communicating using mathematical language

Here are some questions we can ask the child when they count their tokens (depending on their level, of course!):

  • How many tokens do you think you have? Can you estimate?
  • How many tokens do you need to get this reward?
  • How many tokens will you have left after getting this reward?
  • Can you get this reward if you add your tokens together?
  • How many packs of 5 tokens do you need to get this reward? And of 10?
  • How many tens and ones do you need to get this reward?
  • Using half of your tokens, what reward can you get? A quarter? Three quarters?

At home, material reward does not mean dollar store! Here are some things I like to put in our store:

  • Small food treats that I don't usually give them (juice boxes, individual popcorn bags, hot chocolate packets)
  • Useful items (new felt-tip pens to replace those that no longer work, new play-doh to replace dried-out ones, replacement batteries for some games)
  • Games or toys that I confiscated from them (for whatever reason!)
  • Privilege cards (15 are included in the General Store box!)
  • New reading books

We like the idea of putting things in the store that we would have given them anyway. This makes them aware of what we offer to make their lives more enjoyable. In return, we ask them to take small actions to contribute to the family's well-being. Moreover, these gifts don't come at the snap of a finger, nor to buy peace in the face of a whim; my children hope for and desire these small gifts and work hard to get them! And what pride they feel when they can finally get their hands on that long-awaited reward!

To learn more about all the benefits of using the General Store at home and for more suggestions on what to include, check out our other blog posts on the subject!

 

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