The General Store: the superstore of positive reinforcement

The truth is, there are plenty of ways to get there! We can hand out all kinds of punishments that we then have to manage and follow through on (we all know the joy of living with the consequences of having taken away our child's TV on a rainy day...). We can also repeat and explain and repeat and explain over and over again (if you're the resilient type of parent, I admire you!). Or simply ignore bad behaviour and tell ourselves it'll pass (very hard on the nervous system). To each their own! At our house, we decided to encourage good behaviour with big doses of positive reinforcement! I have to say that so far, it's giving very good results and it makes family life rather pleasant. 

What is positive reinforcement?

Positive reinforcement for dummies: giving a pleasant stimulus to increase the frequency or occurrence of good behaviour. We can do it in several ways:

• Verbal positive reinforcement: Way to go, my handsome Laurier, you're a politeness champion, you said thank you without me having to ask!
• Non-verbal positive reinforcement: a wink as soon as Louis brings his plate back to the counter
• Preventive positive reinforcement (a little more demanding but oh so effective): watching Louis out of the corner of my eye as he's about to hit his little brother, I step in just in time to tell him, “Wow, you held back from hitting your brother, that's fan-tas-tic!”
• Material positive reinforcement: rewarding our children's good behaviour with small “gifts.” This one is very effective, but it should be used in moderation, since we want children to learn to find an inner motivation to behave well.

The Les Belles Combines General Store

How does it work?

Each child permanently has a jar labelled with their name, with a supply of wooden tokens beside it. We target one or two behaviours we'd like to see, which must be measurable and observable. So we avoid things like “be patient” or “be nice.” Then, we reward those behaviours with a token that goes into their jar. Once or twice a week, we let them count the tokens they've collected (with the help of a token-counting sheet for little ones who can't yet count perfectly to twenty). Depending on how many tokens they've saved up, they can then trade their tokens for rewards in the General Store. The store is simply a box divided into three sections: 5 tokens, 10 tokens and 20 tokens. The important thing is to tell them every time we give them a token. We can even ask them to go drop a token in their own jar. Finally, once the behaviour is well established, we stop rewarding it and give them new challenges. 

A little educational extra

• Exercising critical judgment
• Putting creative thinking to work
• Building their identity
• Cooperating

The General Store is also a great excuse to help children develop mathematical skills such as:

• Solving a problem situation
• Reasoning using mathematical concepts and processes
• Communicating using mathematical language

Here are some questions we can ask a child while they count their tokens (depending on their level, of course!):

• How many tokens do you think you have? Can you estimate?
• How many more tokens do you need to get this reward?
• How many tokens will you have left after getting this reward?
• Can you get this reward if you add your tokens together?
• How many packs of 5 tokens do you need to get this reward? And packs of 10?
• How many tens and ones do you need to get this reward?
• Using half of your tokens, which reward can you get? A quarter? Three quarters?

At our house, material rewards don't mean dollar-store stuff! Here are a few things I like to slip into our store:

• Little food treats I don't usually give them (juice boxes, individual bags of popcorn, packets of hot chocolate)
• Practical things (new markers to replace the ones that no longer work, new modelling clay to replace the dried-out kind, replacement batteries for certain games)
• Games or toys I've confiscated from them (for whatever reason!)
• Privilege cards (15 of them are included in the General Store box, by the way!)
• New reading books

We like the idea of putting things in the store that we would have given them anyway. It makes them aware of what we do to make their lives more enjoyable. In exchange, we ask them to do small things to contribute to the well-being of the family too. What's more, these gifts don't appear with a snap of the fingers, or to buy peace in the face of a tantrum; my kids hope for and long for these little gifts and work hard to earn them! And how proud they are when they finally get their hands on that long-awaited reward!

To learn more about all the benefits of using the General Store at home and to get more suggestions for what to put in it, check out our other blog posts on the topic!

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